Another face in the opaque crowd searching for some translucence to diffuse and project his myriad thoughts through this utterly abhorrent state of lame rigidity.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Odd Even.ts

(i)   This is an experiment.
(ii)  The irregular chronological order is intentional.
(iii) There are 6+1 parts, each comprising 55 words.(so have I counted)

6th September, 2010. Night.

Norah clenched her teeth.  She gasped.  She embraced the silence that followed. No mirth, no melancholy and no miff; she was a stone. Sound of scissors. Severed umbilical cord. Time progressed. No relevant sound. The unwanted yet unavoidable, obligatory slap. Cries of the baby filled the room. Norah’s brain throbbed like her heart, with agony.

1st January, 2010. Afternoon.

John was a powerful man.  Aal kept silent like a dead piece of log. Aal preferred to live like a castrated ox rather than fight with vigour like a bull and ultimately, probably die with his testicles getting crushed. Aal succumbed to the opprobrious clout. Norah’s body was profaned, mutilated; and now, her soul, amputated.

31st December, 2009. Late evening.

‘You look terrific, Norah.’ Aal took Norah in his arms. The red dress she donned, embraced her immaculate lissome body, envying anyone, everyone else who could, who would lay a hand or even a sight on her.  She dispersed seeds of pulchritude that could absorb any man’s wavelength of restraint. ‘I am pregnant’, she whispered.

1st January, 2010. Around midnight.

Aal exceeded his limit of sane alcohol consumption and slayed his consciousness, probably unconsciously. John offered to help Norah get Aal home. She agreed, albeit reluctantly. John’s hormones flickered. He pounced on Norah. Norah let out muffled shrieks, tried to fight back, but in vain. John increased then ceased his pubic movements with diabolical satiation.

1st January, 2010. Morning.

Aal’s head was still heavy with the previous night’s alcohol. Norah handed a cup of coffee to him, her hands shaking incoherently. Norah choked on the lump in her throat, gulped it, and then let it all go. The fact that John raped his wife seeped in, as the hot coffee slipped down Aal’s throat.

1st January, 2011. Noon.

A little more, Norah thought. Endurance, that’s banal, mundane and superfluous. She can stay unscathed, unstirred, even if hot lava is poured on her coarse skin which used to be gentle sometime, long ago.  A little more she thought. The stifled muted shrieks of the child drowned in the cotton pillow, his legs stopped moving.

31st December, 2011. Morning.

The kid placed the white rose on Aal Carter’s grave. His parents, Norah and John stood behind him. Aal was a promising writer, but he was addicted to drugs, which subsequently led to his death, after gifting him coma for a year. “Can people think while they are in coma? Maybe, Aal had a story.”


  1. Wow. I do like the experiment. The fluctuating chronological order made the whole story sound extremely interesting. I loved the way you wrote it. Brilliant writing and the way you've put it across could not have been better. An unimaginably dark story made more complex by the way you chose to write it. Awesome work.

  2. I do not understand - not what, but why?

  3. Brilliant made me wait...Wait a long time....But it was worth it...The non-linear narrative structure of the story really does work wonders.And the ending...Oh, the ending! It was killer...

  4. Thank you Megha!

    Rohit, you know the answer to that question too.

    Siddhartha, thanks!

  5. I don't know if I understand it, or do I refuse to understand it. Because, it has inherent violence. Given the beautiful style of writing, it's in the right place, coming from the right person, You, here. Awesome post, you do have a story.

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  6. Thanks Anshul. Inherent violence; oh yes, that's true. ;)

  7. Awesome! Loved the way you placed the sequence of events!

  8. This post is illegibly coherent in so many ways. I love how you have treated it, not the in your face, sorta script but something that requires the reader to be alert and really read it. I like tha kinda writing, stuff that makes me think. You're growing as a story teller Sayak. Wonderfully. One of your best posts.

  9. Very skillfully told, well done. But, alas, the story leaves me feeling sad ...

  10. :) awesome. the inherent darkness is mindblowingly mesmerizing.

  11. Matt, well, it was meant to be sad, amongst many other emotions that were intended to be aroused.

    Raj, thank you! :)

  12. I don't claim to understand what you've written there! For if I do- i would just end up along with a crowd that comes out of 'art house' films saying "it is the best movie ever made. pinnacle of art".. crap. presumption that liking a 'art house movie' brands you with a 'person of fine taste'.
    No. I do not get one word of hat you've written there. So I'm just going to comment here about how you've written it.
    I rest my case.

  13. Phew Matangi! Well, I would not try to explain my story or lets say myself; that would just be against what I intended to create. I shall not try to give shape to a fluid. But, you did not ask for an explanation and I truly appreciate that. And yes, thank you! :)

  14. Sayak..I came back to your blog after a long time..But I am glad I chanced upon this one..This is brilliance..It is succinct, and leaves much to the imagination..I don't know if I should say much because words tend to become superfluous next to what you have shown us here..Love it..One of my favourites from you

  15. It's good to have you back TurbulentMind. Thank you!

  16. Never been here before but I'm impressed. Nice write up :)

  17. Wow.. what a work bro.. :)

    Loved each word of it.. Brilliant. You deserved the SS pick.. Congo.. hugs.. :X:X

  18. Anadatta, Thank You!

    Sis, thanks! :D

  19. Thanks for the sharing.

    Please come to my blog and cast your vote under "Books" to the left of my blog's name,


  20. great...reading straigt wouldnt have created the drama that the miss-sequence has...nice, innovative :) keep writing :)

  21. Oh I loved how you broke your story into these little intriguing pieces. Moving up and down the time line.

    And you have my vote.

  22. WOW !!!
    terrrrrific, really.
    And I loved the way you broke the words.

  23. What a creative post... the story was very well woven... I enjoyed reading every bit of it... :)


  24. i sensed Eliot in this piece!
    capturing snapshots of life... good going Sayak Shome.
    it's a pleasure seeing such carefully careless construction of fiction. :)

  25. Definitely did not loathe...complex but one could read it halfway!

    Amazing :)

  26. Very nice! I like the breaks in the story and the irregular order.. makes it an interesting read! I love the idea!

  27. Thank you Megha. Yes, I shall keep writing.

    Purba, this was an experiment. And thanks. :)


    Tanishka, I am glad that you enjoyed reading it.

    Yes, Agnimita Chatterjee, the carelessness is inherent. You know that. :P

    Beyond Horizon, thanks for not loathing it. :D

    Chandana, thank you for liking the idea.

  28. congrats for spicey
    good stories

  29. I frankly don't know how to the structure and the fact that you said so much in so few words and yet left enough space open for interpretation...dark, chilling notes that will keep me awake keep writing...

  30. Beautiful creative post... the story was very well written!

  31. Loved the concept! I didn't understand some of the dates and stuff, like for eg,.the party should have been on 31-dec midnight, right? and not 1st jan midnight? I didn't understand the part where the child's legs stopped moving either. But yes, I think this is a brilliant concept. Works really well as a movie.

  32. Thanks sm.

    Thank you Rek, for appreciating my experiment.

    Thank you Marinela.

    Writerzblock, At midnight, the date changes to 1st January of the next year, doesn't it? And wouldn't the legs be inactive if the brain dies? :)


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